It’s an interesting phenomenon, the ‘Motherhood Penalty’ that has become part of the parenting discourse in recent times. When my husband and I decided to start planning for a family, I honestly didn’t think much about the impact it would have on me. I guess in a lot of ways. But I certainly didn’t even begin to imagine how choosing to grow a life would equate to a loss of income, a loss of career opportunities, and a loss of my professional sense of self.

What is the Motherhood Penalty?

The Motherhood Penalty refers to a “care penalty, which falls disproportionately to women as mothers", as explained by Sheree Gregory, a senior lecturer of human resources and management at Western Sydney University. According to Gregory, research suggests that having children has a “higher impact on women and their employment rates, transitions, and status than it does on men". It seems so obvious, doesn’t it? Women are the ones who carry the pregnancy. Women are the ones who give birth. And should they choose to, women are the ones who breastfeed. So the journey as a whole is at least two years.

The most shocking part…

What struck me as most confronting when reading about the Motherhood Penalty was the long-term impact pregnancy and raising children has on the future financial capacity of a woman. The average 25-year-old woman, who has one child, will earn $2 million less over her lifetime than the average 25-year-old man. According to the Australian Government’s Treasury Working Paper (2023), after the arrival of their children, women will earn 55% less  their pre-pregnancy wage due to reduced work hours. All of which feels very out of the control of the woman, and more a reflection of the society in which we are living in.

How do other countries do it?

Countries like Sweden, Germany, Norway and Denmark all recognise the important of parental leave, as well as financial support during this time. In Sweden, parents are entitled to 480 days of paid leave, with 390 days at nearly 80% of their salary and the remaining at a flat rate. Parents of young children can also reduce their hours of work by 25% during the first EIGHT years of their child’s life. In Germany, parents can take up to 14 months of parental leave, at 65-67% of their salary. And Norway offers 49 weeks at 100% pay.

These countries also support women returning to the workforce by prioritising (and some even legally enforcing) shared parental leave. So the default is not on the mother.

Can you imagine a world where the default is not the mum? Where both parents actively participate in both home and work life? Where women feel that their skills and capabilities were recognised beyond motherhood? Neither can I.

When being pregnant equates to losing your role

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was working in a school. I shared the exciting news with my boss / principal. I had experienced a miscarriage only a few months prior, and so was elated to finally announce our pregnancy.

To my shock, I was met with questioning around my ability to continue in my role whilst pregnant. “Maybe we could get creative with some other roles you could do” was apparently an attempt to be supportive yet was an absolute slap in the face. Was I not capable of continuing on in my role? Did this pregnancy render me useless in supporting students and parents? Was I somehow incapacitated in a way that I was not aware of?

It was even suggested that I go home and have a conversation with my husband about whether this was a move we could financially afford as it would mean stepping down from my current role. Cue eye roll and seeking my husband’s permission.

Well of course the rage was steaming out of me, and though I cried in this meeting, I am proud of myself for standing strong. Though part of me was questioning my legal rights and was even entertaining the idea that maybe I could be removed from my role, I told him I wasn’t going anywhere. This was my job. I would do it until I left for maternity leave. And I would show him. I would show anyone who dared to question whether being pregnant – continuing god damn civilisation! – would impact my ability to educate and lead.

Well, 6 months later Covid hit and our school was shut down. So my boss’ worry that I couldn’t be pregnant and operate in my role was superseded by the fact that the world was now in a global pandemic.

And I started my maternity leave early.